Marriage Preparation

The sixth of the seven “C’s” of marriage is covenant. In order to understand covenant we must understand the difference between that and a contract. A contract is normally a legally binding document that is generally written in such a way as to provide for all the possible loopholes to get out of it – legally.

On the other hand, a covenant is very different. It is a unilateral commitment that is binding independent of what the other party does or does not do.

How different these two concepts are! And how far away we have gotten from the covenant model of marriage. Even though most marriage vows include the words, “Until death do us part,” the average bride and/or groom has in the back of their mind, the thought, “Until you do something for which I feel justified in leaving you.”

In a Christian marriage, the concept of covenant is fundamental. It is based on the Biblical concept of agape love…unconditional love modeled after the love God has for us. God’s love for each of us does not depend upon our love for Him. It never has and never will. And that is the model upon which covenant marriage is based. It is a love that mere humans are incapable of apart from the grace and enabling of the God who is “love.”

Our culture has taken us so far away from that model that most couples even if they are Christian, only give lip service to the idea of covenant. And when the going gets tough, as it inevitably will, all that our culture has taught us about having the right to be happy, etc, prevails over the fundamental principles of covenant. A covenant is a type of vow and it is something that God takes very, very seriously. Ecclesiastes 5:5 says, “It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”

So as we go into marriage, if we are serious about covenant, we must be willing to weather all the storms that will come against us as a couple and we must be willing to stand together to defend each other and the covenant we make “until death do us part.” And let’s really mean it.

For information on premarital education you can do from your home check out the new Marriage 101 Online course.

Comedy is the fifth of the 7 “C’s” of marriage. But is should especially characterize a Christian marriage. Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22 & 23. So let there be joy, laughter and lightness of heart. When something unexpected or undesirable happens and you are tempted to weep and wail, look for the funny side and laugh instead. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

I had to learn how to laugh and how to make merry and I learned it primarily from my husband. My childhood was marked by disappointments and difficulties. I was altogether way too serious about myself, about life, about everything. But fortunately for me, I married a man who loved to joke, who laughs easily and who manages to see the bright and light side of almost any situation. He is also a story teller and can spin a yarn or sing a song that will turn anyone’s frown to a smile.

I remember one occasion that was frightening to me at the time it happened but was hilariously funny later. In fact, I was so dismayed by the situation that I made my husband promise never to tell anyone. Then after some time had passed, I began to tell people what had happened and thought it extremely funny!

Laughter truly is good medicine. It lightens any load and gets your physical body cooperating with you instead of working against you. So make sure you have plenty of it in your marriage. And never take yourself too seriously!

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