Dr. Norm Wright,Christian marriage counselor, answers the question, “What makes a marriage last?” Source: Premarital counseling series – So You’re Getting Married. This course has been updated and is now called: Marriage 101. For more information, click the Marriage 101 link.
Duration : 0:5:33
Grace Products has been the leader in Christian pre marriage counseling for over 36 years. We are very proud of our newest release entitled Marriage 101: Back to the Basics. This video clip is called “Christian Pre Marriage Counseling — The Deal Of A Lifetime — Investing In Your Marriage”. Please call 800-527-4014 if you feel this resource may meet your needs for premarital counseling and/or marriage enrichment. Available on DVD and on demand at Marriage101 Online.
Duration : 0:2:7
pre marriage and marriage counseling at its best!! In the office, counseling center, or in the privacy of your home. Marriage 101 equips couples to build a marriage that delights and endures for a lifetime. The producer, Greg Vaughn, explains the multiple resources available to couples preparing for marriage and how married couples can have a strong and healthy relationship.
Duration : 0:8:36
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The seventh “C” that you will have to sail in your marriage is charity. That is an old fashioned word which we often translate “love” these days. I’m not talking about giving to charity or about charitable organizations. Obviously those kinds of actions are a result of love, compassion and caring that comes from our hearts.
But in a marriage, charity is the equivalent of pure and simple LOVE. The Bible says that love bears all things and believes all things. Without love it is impossible to have an intimate relationship. It is the component that is the foundation and basis for trust that your partner truly has your best interest in mind and that kind of trust is fundamental for an intimate and fulfilling relationship.
It’s important to remember that charity (love) is a gift from God. Godly love is unconditional. It does not depend upon what the other partner does or doesn’t do. It is genuine. It goes “lightyears” beyond physical attraction. It is a spiritual commitment both to God and to your spouse.
If expressing “charity” toward your partner seems impossible, it is – that is, without God’s help. Only having His Holy Spirit inhabiting and transforming your inner being on a day by day basis will enable you to respond with charity when your partner is doling out something that is completely uncharitable.
Ephesians 5:28 through 31 says, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
My suggestion is that you read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 together every night for the first month of your marriage until you begin to grasp the true meaning of what the Bible calls charity.
You can find more premarital advice by clicking on the highlighted link.
Comedy is the fifth of the 7 “C’s” of marriage. But is should especially characterize a Christian marriage. Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22 & 23. So let there be joy, laughter and lightness of heart. When something unexpected or undesirable happens and you are tempted to weep and wail, look for the funny side and laugh instead. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”
I had to learn how to laugh and how to make merry and I learned it primarily from my husband. My childhood was marked by disappointments and difficulties. I was altogether way too serious about myself, about life, about everything. But fortunately for me, I married a man who loved to joke, who laughs easily and who manages to see the bright and light side of almost any situation. He is also a story teller and can spin a yarn or sing a song that will turn anyone’s frown to a smile.
I remember one occasion that was frightening to me at the time it happened but was hilariously funny later. In fact, I was so dismayed by the situation that I made my husband promise never to tell anyone. Then after some time had passed, I began to tell people what had happened and thought it extremely funny!
Laughter truly is good medicine. It lightens any load and gets your physical body cooperating with you instead of working against you. So make sure you have plenty of it in your marriage. And never take yourself too seriously!
Click on premarital resources for more great advice and help for your marriage.
Communication is the third C in marriage. Whole books have been written about this topic so I won’t try to be totally comprehensive in one blog post. But if you are preparing for marriage, it’s important to analyze and perhaps improve your communication skills.
My husband and I were fortunate enough to attend a Marriage Encounter weekend about 5 years into our marriage. Although our marriage was a good one, we came out of the weekend with tools for communication that made it even better. And perhaps more importantly, we learned some communication skills that enabled us to weather some pretty intense storms that came our way over the years.
The most important skill we learned was to listen to each other without judging. We learned how to express how a particular event, subject, reaction or situation made us feel and we asked our partner to discover when he or she had felt the same way. So the communication went something like this, “This is how I felt when you did/or said… Have you ever felt that way?” The response was, “This is how you felt when I did/or said… Yes, I felt that way when…”
Following up on that was something like, “I’m sorry you felt that way. Will you forgive me?”
This led to some pretty intense communication that deepened our understanding of each other and solidified our commitment to each other like nothing else could have. And, yes, it took time. But it was so worth it!
And it was all done in a very non-judgmental, non-accusatory way that simply led to a habit of communicating in a way that was helpful rather than hurtful.
In this fast paced age of computers, internet, TV, demands of work on our time and focus, communication is something that is likely to be placed on a back burner. You’ll need to make time for it. It is that essential!
One more thing I’d like to say about communication is that men and women do not speak the same language. In fact, it’s so essential to understand this, that I think I’ll write a “Part II” to this “C” of marriage.
What has been helpful to you and your spouse that has enabled you to be better communicators? Please comment and share your insights.
Before you get married, have you really stopped to think about issues that may affect your ability as a couple to have a long lasting, enjoyable and satisfying relationship? There are many factors that will determine how marriage is for you and none of them has very much to do with the “chemistry” that attracted you to each other. In fact, they will all require work.
The first of the Seven C’s of Christian Marriage is Commitment. Without commitment, you have nothing.
When Columbus set out to sail west to reach the East, it was a commitment. It meant no turning back no matter what dangers, storms and trials lay ahead. If you think of marriage this way, you will face the struggles, differences, challenges and surprises of marriage and find a way together to go on. These things will make you stronger as an individual and stronger as a couple.
One key to accomplishing this is first of all, mindset. I’m in this for life! Until death do us part! Without that, you will give up. This is what we mean by commitment.
You need that commitment to your spouse and in the same way you need that commitment to the Lord. As each of you draws closer to Him, you will inevitably draw closer to each other. And developing both of those relationships takes time – and commitment. If it’s worth it, you will take the time and make it happen.
I Corinthians 7 has much to say about commitment. Read it!
Click on this link for more information on Christian Premarital Counseling.
before marriage, a key question to ask yourself is, “What is most important to me in life?” As soon as that is answered, you need to ask a second question; “Is the most important thing to me also most important to my potential marriage partner?”
Few of us realize how vitally important the answers to those questions are to ensuring an enduring, growing, prospering, deepening relationship that will weather storms and last until the death of one of the marriage partners. Having the same values, priorities and goals in life far outweigh almost all other considerations when thinking about marriage.
It’s all too easy to be swept away by physical attraction and other peripherals and forget that physical attractiveness will undoubtedly pass away with time. But living together for a cause and a goal beyond yourselves will give you a great advantage when the reality of the hum-drum activities and responsibilities of life overwhelm you.
So be sure to answer these questions with a solid, not a nebulous answer and you will have a positive foothold as you begin your married life.
For more marriage resources check out the new Marriage 101 course.
